How to eat a good amount of Rice

[Sweetheart]

Step 1. Throw 69 teaspoons of rice at the wall
Step 2. Eat 1/2 ounce of rice every 69 seconds for healthy gums
Step 3. Poop out everything three hours later

[Pobrecito]

I tried that but I failed at counting to 69 every time. And I didn't have to take a dump 3 hours later D:

[Seitz]

I should totally follow this. I want healthy gums. Getting old here :0